The Infinite Changes In Self

Change manifests at different times of your life as results of small to cataclysmic events. At least for myself the most intense, awe-inspiring developments have happened because of difficult, harsh, bold, extreme- mostly unhappy (felt at the time)- events. The last year has been a year of life taking violent turns through mostly uncharted waters that in moments left me feeling as boat drifting in dark seas without directions. I think the moments when you feel utterly and completely lost are those times when introspection runs rampant and can create beautiful new facets to the gems of our soul.

When we are children we are like an uncut diamond, rough and new to the light of the world. As we grow and experience each situation we find ourselves in that makes us see a part of ourselves that we didn’t see before and it adds a facet. The more cuts to our stone- the more facets- create a stone that shines like it never did before. If we are brave enough to see our souls and their worth we can feel a true sense of joy. This whole process of life can leave one jaded and in times feeling hopeless. If you have the courage to love yourself unconditionally and to not be apologetic about the life that has created you for the wonderful person you are, it can be a dawn awakening- and it is glorious.

Why write this into the universe? Because where ever you are whatever you find yourself in, feel it all. The joy, pain, love, lose-have the courage to let those emotions wash over you, don’t pack them away. I don’t really believe in good and bad decisions, even with the shit that happened in my life, I don’t believe that regret should follow you. Have faith in yourself and be brave enough to speak the truths on you mind, heart, and soul.

Let me say this again. Be brave and speak your truths. If we are honest with our hearts and minds some things will fall away but what remains will be true. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that you shouldn’t speak these things.

“Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul” -Edward Abbey

You will find yourself surrounded by people throughout your lives that are part of you story for second, minutes, days or maybe years. The ones that stay and show up in your life are the ones to keep close. Give those people your hearts, fears, and hopes and the right ones will make your heart fill with so much joy you will simply feel full. That void in ourselves that I think everyone feels in some way, that reservoir is for the joy we find in connection. I am lucky enough to have friends I have known for years, grew with, laughed with and definitely cried with. I can only hope that if you are reading this you hold those people close to you.

I could write a thousand times that you are in charge of this life, even if you are stuck at a corner right now, you can make a turn with enough will and sometimes time. Be good to yourself, love yourself and find community. Community is so important-something I learned only the last couple years. The spiderwebs we spin that connect us to all sort of people all over the world- they are a golden cord to life.

Be patient with yourself and also with others, when you find this light inside of you and you see how wonderful and bright it is, some people wont see it the same way. Let me tell you this if people don’t see you for the wonder that you are, let them pass by.

I am sending so much love and light to you all out there.


PS Starting next month I will be talking about my experience with the Peace Corps which is…. difficult but I think it will be helpful.